I lie in my bed,
I can not feel it’s comfort.
The iron bands, tightly wrap my forearms,
My hands feel the head of the hammer.
“Just lie still and remain calm.”
The reign of pain is on the march.
I feel it’s oppression overtaking me.
The sobs of exhaustion echo through my bed chamber.
Suddenly, my neck jerks to the right, my torso to the left!
A hot steel rod sears my spine!
“Breathe. Remain calm. It will pass.”
I wait for a break to escape. I am always looking, but so far, none.
Fire ignites inside my shoulder while icy fingers grow numb.
Twitch, twist, ratching vertebrae,
Click, Snap! Pulling muscles, I can’t breathe!
Hold on, just keep holding on.
Breathe, try to breathe.
And yet another reason to hope.
Which drug will they try tomorrow?
How will my body react?
The twisting has stopped.
What will happen next?
“Don’t breathe too deeply or another attack will come.”
Dystonia, you evil persecuting Dictator of my body,
Why are doing this? I’m innocent!
And I’m stronger than you.
I’ll always be stronger than you.
NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, from my website janicetindle.com may be use without a request in writing to me. Permission, if granted, will be done in writing. Failure to do so will result in possible prosecution. I am the sole owner of my words and at point of publication on this site it is copyrighted as mine. - copyright 2012 Janice Tindle
In 2010, I suffered a traumatic brain injury and other injuries when hit by an under insured driver. It changed my life. I now live with Dystonia, a rare and painful neurologal disorder that causes involuntary muscle spasms and abnormal posturing. There is no treatment or cure. The best one can do is treat the symptoms. You can learn more at DMRF.org.
I try to write about people and things that help and inspire my readers. You can find more of my story by going to helphopelive.org. I am also on Facebook, where I have five pages, Pain Brain -Anti- Inflammatory Foods, Brain Tears, The Positive Posters Page, Traumatic Brain Injury Resources Page, Janice Tindle- Writer. I am also on Twitter and LinkedIn. Simply Google my name and my published articles should appear. I've been published in Fearless Caregiver, Today's Caregiver, TBI Hope and Inspiration Magazine, The Mighty.com, and several other publications.
I am currently a caregiver for my dear mother. My hope is to someday finish my books, "Get Back Up!" and "Galicia's Granite" during my mother's lifetime.
Your interest in my care, recovery and writing is greatly appreciated. Thank you. Comments are welcome.
I so appreciate your writings. You nail what I feel every time you write. You have the words I cannot find to share what I feel. Thank you.
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Thank you Jo Ann. That touched me deeply. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
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you are welcome